This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
