I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Randomize
