69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I met the friendliest cop last night
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize