Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
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