it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
