This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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