I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Randomize
