The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Did you pee in the oven last night??
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
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