he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
