last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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