I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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