he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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