Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
