Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
