she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
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