I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
