it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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