You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize