Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
