This girl is more easily done than said...
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
