Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
