I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
