He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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