NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I just googled if crying burns calories
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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