I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
