So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
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