I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize