After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize