Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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