I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
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