I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
