if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Randomize
