Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
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