yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
