really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
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