speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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