hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
