Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
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