I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
