so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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