Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize
