help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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