dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
