you turned your livingroom into a bong?
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Randomize