I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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