You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
