i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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