i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Randomize
