lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
