I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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