I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
