It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
