I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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