i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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