I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
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