Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
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