i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
