Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
