I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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