The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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